• November 22, 2015

An Open Letter to My 13/16-Year-Old Self

Dear Rose,
It´s been quite some time since the last time we spoke. A lot has happened for you in the last year and I know you have been strong. I tried contacting you but somehow you seemed distant and there are quite some things I wanted to say to you.

  First of all, let it go. I know the pressure to become something you are not is weighing you down, but please, please don´t lose your spark. You have always been a wild soul and your energy always brought laughter to those around you. Don´t lose that. There are too many people out there who will try to bring you down, who will tell you to forget about your dreams, who will say you´re too young or foolish to go after what you want. Don´t do that. You are young, wild and most of all you are free. You are your own person. Don´t let your parents, your brother and even your friends try to tell you what to do with your life and who to be. If it makes you happy, do it.
  Second. Yes, you have acne. No, that does not define you. Don´t hide yourself in the crowd because of it because you were made to shine. Don´t hide your face under pounds of makeup and don´t let the negative comments get to you. I know it´s hard and I know you want to look pretty for the boy you like, but focus on being kind, smart and open to the world. Stop dumbing yourself down for the boy you like and for the love of god, DO NOT try to diet at 15. Don´t fuck yourself up to fit into the society´s standards. You are better than that. There is more you can offer to the world than a pretty face and a size 0 body. If modeling makes you happy, go after it. Don´t let your family crush your dreams and book that ticket to Milan. Yes, the pressure of being a certain size will be hard and yes, the feeling you get after receiving a compliment gives you a high you can´t explain, but trust me on this one…no comment in the world is worth you having an eating disorder for the rest of your life. Don´t buy into what society says it´s perfect – it will only damage you for the rest of your life.
Travel, go places. Yes, I know it seems scary going out there, but you know what´s even scarier? Waking up every day wishing you would have done more with your life, met new people, experienced more adventures – that´s what will happen if you keep living your life the way your family wants you. Do what you want and if it scares you, do it anyway. Stop using your parents as an excuse. You are your own person and you are the one that has to live with your decisions.
  I know you´re afraid. You´re afraid of being lonely, of getting hurt and not being accepted. We all are. However, if you keep trying to conform you will lose yourself. Each and every day you will look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking at you.
Love. A big word, I know. Don´t be afraid to love. Give it your all. Don´t try to hide your emotions and just let it go. Giving your all doesn´t make you weak – it makes you human. It´s not ˝cool˝ to be a heartless bitch and the world needs more people in love. Yes, you will get hurt and you will hurt some people, that´s what happens. But don´t let that stop you from being the hopeless romantic you once were. Stop rationalizing every move and calculating every decision. Do what feels right. There is a risk in everything you do and love is worth it. Loving the wrong person will destroy you, it will drain your energy, but getting up after it will only make you stronger. You will meet new people. You might think you have found the one, but instead of looking at the ways it could go wrong please, please stop being such a perfectionist and just enjoy it while it last. Enjoy the little things. Fall in love with the little useless talks and all those late night laughs. Create beautiful memories and don´t let your mind get into it too much. Respect yourself. Don´t forget your values and always place yourself first. This is NOT selfish, it´s necessary. Don´t be such a giver and let other people take care of you every once in a while – you will be surprised of how awesome it feels. And don´t just fall in love with people, fall in love with the nature, with animals, with learning new things. Fall in love with yourself and fall in love with everything you do.
 Yes, you are an independent person and I know you get really annoyed when people try to give you advice and help you, but trust me when I say this, you should listen. You should take notes and give everyone a chance to tell you about what they love. Each and every time you are given a chance to learn something new – don´t waste it with your ˝I know this, don´t try to be all smart on me˝ attitude.
Let yourself be out of control. It is in your nature, don´t kill that part of you. It is OK to go wild every now and again. Don´t be such a judgy person. So, you kissed that boy at party and now you regret it – don´t. When you look back at these years you will laugh. Years from now you will meet that boy and you will both laugh at how dumb and immature you were. You will look back at your wild years and smile. It´s OK to screw up. That doesn´t mean you are a screw up.
  So, you failed your exam, boo-hoo. Guess what? Years from now, when you finally let go of what your parents think is best for you, school will be the last on your list of priorities. No, that doesn´t mean you should just quit what you´re doing and just party all the time. Try your best, give it your all, but don´t let it consume you. Don´t let a bad grade determine your self-worth. You are not the mark on your exam. I know you will find what I´m about to say weird and you will think I´m crazy, but here goes nothing; School can be fun! Learning new things can give you a rush you have never experienced before and even math is not that scary – just find ways that work for you and for the love of God, do some homework – the teachers do not give it to you because they are cruel, they do it because they know what you should work on more and the way our system is built they just can´t find the time to fit it into their lecture.
Be positive. No, hating on everything is not cool. You know that. You are a positive person by nature so why try and see only the bad in the world!? If your friends say your ˝happy go lucky˝ attitude is annoying – fuck them! Don´t think you have to be negative for them to accept you. Be who you are and you will attract the right people into your life.
  Start a blog. What´s a blog you ask? Google it, you silly girl! Don´t wait so long until that special someone actually shows you what a blog is. You´ve watched a million Youtube videos, why not make one of your own? Oh, yea..I forgot..you´ve got acne, are annoying and everyone who will watch your videos out will only do it to make fun of you. Hmm… Please, sit down, there is something I have to tell you. What if I told you that as soon you will open up your blog you´ll get more confidence? The acne you are dealing with will help you become the ambassador of Vichy (yes, you read that correctly… V-I-C-H-Y!), you will get positive feedback on almost anything you do and the people who doubted you from the start will become some of your biggest fans (uhh…how I hate that word..). So as Nike says, just do it, you love makeup so paint your face in front of the camera and I guarantee someone will find it fun. However, don´t rush into things. If something doesn´t go as you planned in the beginning let it be. Give it time. You will soon realize everything happens when the time is right and you shouldn´t stress so much. Just believe in yourself and keep going. The effort you put in while pay back eventually.

Talk to you soon,
Best wishes,
Your future you.
XOXO.

9 Comments

  • Ploskam!! Odlična objava, mislim da bi vsakdo moral vsaj enkrat v življenju napisati pismo samemu sebi. <3

  • Vse pohvale ! Ena izmed najboljših objav, ki sem jih brala v zadnjem. Sicer pa verjamem, da si več kot čudovita oseba, čeprav imaš akne.

  • Dear Sandra,
    you are a special person with special energy who makes me laugh and Keto-Capuccinos.
    Happy to know you,

    my present self. Xo

  • Hvala! <3
    Ja, sej sm rekla, da bom verjetno še kakšno za 16-19 pa 19-21..mislim, da so bla to tista ˝prelomna˝ leta zame, kjer se je vedno kaj zgodilo, za kar si želim, da bi imela takšno razmišljanje, kot ga imam sedaj..

  • Hvaala! 🙂 Joj, res najlepša hvala..sem opazila, da se tiste objave, katere me je najbolj strah objavit tudi najbolj ˝uspešne˝ pa tudi sama čutim kot nekak ˝cleansing˝, ko dam ven 😀 Joj, hvala <3

  • Oooo Sindi, thank you <3
    So thankful to have had the chance to meet you!
    P.S. Can´t wait to film some Youtube videos with you (I got even more ideas right now, will tell you about them on Wednesday over coffe) 🙂
    XOXO.

  • Absoluttaititvistično:*

  • Ne filozofiraj ciganka. LEPA si, mozolji gor ali dol, akne gor ali dol. Važno je kakšna si po srcu (in kok čvrsto ritko maš!) haha <3

  • Ciganka, veš da študiram filo, da more kdaj pa kdaj tud kaka bolj globoka past 😛 Hvala srce! <3

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