It finally came. The day I´ve been waiting on forever. I am stepping out of my comfort zone. After years of wishing for it I am finally going crazy. Now, before you start judging me, I am talking about changing my hair color.
I have always wanted to do something crazy to my hair, but somehow I always found reasons not to do it – it will ruin my hair, my ˝reputation˝, no-one will take me serious etc. etc.
I will reveal my new color in a video (if I won´t get too excited and share it with you sooner), but now I´ve decided to tell you what the change means to me.
My biggest issue was my messed up belief that you have to look a certain way for people to take you seriously. I am planning to prepare a Youtube video where I go more into detail about what our society made me believe, but let me get it out briefly before I run of into the wild.
I have now created a reality in which blogging is my job. I am thrilled about it and I love every minute of it; however, with that I again began to compare myself to other bloggers and how they do business. I started to believe that you have to look and act a certain way for people to take you seriously. I believed you have to have a classy look, be more calm and classy and if you know me, you know that´s just not me. I love to be loud and wild and crazy. I´m not afraid to show my flaws and state my opinion.
These two clashing beliefs got me going crazy and at some point I just had to choose what I will follow – who I am or who I believe people (costumers mostly) want me to be. I believed I had to maintain an image of professionalism and wild hair, no makeup and always wearing jeans just doesn´t go with that. I believed that if you always look a certain way you will shock the people around you with the change and they will think you´ve lost it.
And how did I overcome that? Not that simple, to be honest. It took many sleepless nights and the voices in my head just wouldn´t shut up. But then, it occurred to me. Will blogging still be as fun if I´m not being me and doing what I love? Will the extra € in my bank account be worth me not being able to express myself completely? Will I stay in my little box, worried about what other people think and at the same time preach how you should be yourself!? I don´t think so.
So, today is the day. Today is the day when I take a big jump out of my comfort zone and finally do what I´ve wanted to do for ages. I believe the people who see my hard work, my talent and my passion will still want to work with me, my dear followers who are the ones that keep me going when I´m feeling low will still be there for me and they will appreciate me being me – the crazy, wild and honest Rose I am.
I am facing my fear today and hoping for the best. I know it can only get better from here and I appreciate every single one of you who is with me on my journey in my self-discovery and helping me see what I still believe to be hidden.
As I have stated I will document my transformation with a video and I am also preparing a video in which I will talk about my biggest fears, insecurities and beliefs that have been holding me back from living my life in the near future so make sure you subscribe to my Youtube channel so you don´t miss any of that. I have also posted a video on my Facebook page recently and I would really appreciate if you would check it out.
O.K. The time I had for my morning coffee has passed. Wish me luck with my transformation.
P.S. Do you enjoy these daily posts in which I share my morning thoughts and struggles? Do you want me to do them every day? I quite enjoy putting my thoughts out into the world, so the thought has come up many times in my mind lately. Tell me if you enjoy them as well and I´ll make sure to share them with you as much as I can.