I know I should post another fitness motivation article today, but there was just something on my mind I wanted to put out there..now, I don´t even know how I will start this blog or what to say, I just want to tell you what has been on my mind for the past few days.
(Let me just start off by saying I am still not sure about posting this…it is random and if you will read it all through, we are best friends!)
If you are a regular reader you probably know by now, my 20th birthday is this Sunday and something unusual is happening for the last couple of days. I don´t know why, but every time I think about the fact that I am turning 20 it warms up my heart and I get happy. Now, I am not one to throw birthday parties and make it a big deal – EVER! so this is quite strange for me.. aaand…since I am one to analyze EVERYTHING and I do find the human mind quite amazing it made me think a lot about what was happening and I came up with a theory.
Our whole life we aim to reach some kind of a goal we seat up for ourselves (and yes, most times we are disappointed since we set the goal to high) that we forget the fact that it is O.K. to change our minds, to create a new goal and to find something new that interests you. It is scary trying out new things and trust me…I am the one who knows that a bit too good! Huh, so this article isn´t making any sense, right? :/ Don´t worry my normal beauty, fashion and fitness articles will be back in a couple days and everything will be back to normal..I am not one to complain about an unhappy childhood or even having problems in my teens…but somehow the thought of entering 20s just makes me happy..I get the feeling I can start over, I have new chances and somehow I have a feeling that this is going to be the best year of my life!
I have been working on myself quite a lot this summer and I think that helped too..you know..all this exercise, beauty etc. may seem superficial, but I have realized that somehow, taking care of yourself on the outside clears your mind and makes you see things more clearly..for the last month or so I have been doing sooooo much research about how physical appearance can literally change your life! And yes, it is shallow to think that way but many research show human being kinder to beautiful people and giving them advantage in life (FUN FACT! Did you know the Greeks considered a beautiful person to be gifted with its beauty by gods and should, therefore, be treated better and differently..).
Now I don´t know why I had to share that with you, but something about learning about the human behavior and how shallow we actually are (even if we try not to, we judge people subconsciously in the first 10sec of meeting them) fascinates me… Now, what does that have to do with me turning 20? Well, since learning all of this, it somehow gives me hope or drive, should I say rather, for this time of my life. I think it is sooo important for us to always try and learn new things and that does not just apply to school and college..I started this blog because I wanted to share my knowledge and learn more from you guys..I find makeup and fashion to be so inspiring since it gives you the chance to transform and at the same time to find yourself.
I guess what I´m trying to say is that we should all try to work on ourselves as much as we can…and no, I don´t mean just on our appearance (all though I do believe feeling good about yourself changes the way you think and experience life)..I think we should never stop learning and I think we should be happy we have the chance to learn all these new things..I mean..if you think about it. Did our grandma´s had the opportunity to just Google something and with just a click learn everything about that subject? NO! And trust me when I say this…they would love the fact that they could do that!
I think we spend waaaaay to much time online and for what? All we do is refresh and stare at pretty pictures…is that how you want to remember ˝the best years of your life˝? I know I don´t and I want to think back on these years as the years when I learned something new (might be as small as learning how to contour or as big as learning how to drive a plain…it is all up to you)..
Now, I still don´t know where this is going but I just thought this is something I had to put out..even if I am the only one who reads it…
Another thing I have learned about myself…I care about what people think waaaay to much and I can guarantee I am not the only one…for example; There are thousands of bloggers popping up every day here in Slovenia and with that I am scared I will lose my readers and I have to admit I have forgotten what I am about for a little while and I tried writing about things I saw people like reading and I tried to make myself something I am not..yes, there are prettier and more successful bloggers out there, but that is not me! I started this blog because of the pure love for all things beauty related but somehow the more I learn about blogging the more I see it is just a popularity contest…and guess what? I am out! I don´t want to do something just because I want more likes…F* that! I would rather have 5 readers that actually like what I put out and get excited about a new post than thousands that are there just for the pretty pictures or giveaways…
So I guess learning about this is what inspired this post, too..
There is so much more on my mind that I wanted to put out, but was just too afraid that nobody would read it and you guys would stop following me..like I said, many people have probably already clicked the X button, but I don´t want to be just another blogger that does everything for the clicks and the likes…I started this blog because I wanted to…because it made ME happy…and I don´t want to change that..
As I said, I will be turning 20 this weekend and I have been just way to excited about it..and I think the reason why is because I have realized I have come to an age where I truly can be whoever I want to..I have spent my entire life trying to ˝fit-in˝ and I think my 20s are going to be all about being ME!
This summer I have discovered I love learning about body language and what kind of messages we send off just by our appearance…I have found out I love working out and I have found out I AM ENOUGH! I learned I don´t need millions of people in my life to make me happy and I learned I can spend hours on my own and abso-f*-lutely love it!
And yes, I know being nice is just playing dumb in the world we are right now, but I have found out that yes, being nice can make you more vulnerable, but it can also make your life sooo much better. I found out that I shouldn´t take things as seriously as I always did. Life is fun and EVERYBODY makes mistakes. We are all human!
I have noticed I have started to loose myself for the last couple of years..I became more closed off and I was not as social as I once was. (To be quite honest..I still get quite scared when I talk to someone after a long time.) I´m kind of scared around people and even shy, you could say. If you knew me at some point in my life you will know that was not me, EVER! But I have noticed that…and in my 20s I have decided I wanted to change that..I want to get rid of my fear of being around people and meeting new people and yes, it will be hard and I will get nervous each and every time, probably…but I think it’s worth it!
So, if you read everything…I LOVE YOU!
I wanted to put this out…I don´t know why I just did…even now I don´t think I have talked about everything I wanted, but I know this article is already WAAAY to long so.. I guess this article was just a reminder to myself about how awesome life is and about how I want each and every one of you to realize that… there is just so much going through my mind right now and I can´t even put it into words.. I guess what I am trying to say is I AM HAPPY! I hope all of you guys have a great day and I hope you find at least one reason to smile today! 🙂